This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
