Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
last night I used snow as a chaser
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
