if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
