Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Randomize
