I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
