hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize