I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
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