he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
