i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
