It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
