Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
