as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
