Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
