We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
