don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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