oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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