And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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