i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
