dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Randomize
