do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
