4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
