I forgot how hot balto sounded
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
