I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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