yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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