Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
