It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
