I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize