I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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