you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
