She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
