I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
