fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
