She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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