pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
