i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
