Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
He? As in you personified your dick?
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
