is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize
