Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
