omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
where am i from again
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
