I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
