wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Randomize
