i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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