Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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