Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
MIDGETS
????
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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