Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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