Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
