I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
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