this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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