Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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