dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
