Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Dicks are not precious.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
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