You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
You can't motorboat a personality
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
