Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
