I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
