My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
