Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Randomize
